Possibly not for nervous fliers...
Jul. 4th, 2004 09:52 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
peteryoung
"Now madam, will you kindly shut the fuck up?"
Being the possibly far-too-horizontal person that I am, I thankfully never feel inclined to shout at people in real life... if I ever need someone to do something and to please do it now, I find "assertive" usually gets the required result without ever having to resort to "aggressive". If I need to let off steam about something like a particularly obnoxious bunch of foreign students or the like, it's often advisable to do it elsewhere among more sympathetic ears than by demonstrating to the object of your ire the precise degree of your displeasure, which will often get you nowhere. At least, that's the way it's supposed to work in the hospitality business. Or maybe it's just my hospitality business. Whatever.
So in a certain role-playing scenario in my annual safety checks today I may have been a little too assertive with this panicking 'passenger', as the fire that I was currently trying to put out in her overhead locker was also burning to ashes her precious fifty million dollar Gucci handbag. Too bad, dear. So we have smoke in the cabin but cannot see the actual source of the fire (on a crew's "oh-fuck" scale this will rank as an 8 or 9; in comparison, having an airborne engine fire barely ranks as a 2). The fire could be in any number of bags in the locker or even be from some wiring behind the locker, or from another completely non-visible but local part of the plane. Who knows? We don't, and very likely no-one's about to tell us. So for every second spent trying to establish the source and fight it, that fire is possibly getting worse and the end result doesn't bear thinking about.
We have good routines for dealing with a fire on a plane, an event which fortunately has never happened to me but does occasionally occur. My abrupt words may have been rather cathartic and helped give us all a laugh, but if I was properly aware I might have also taken her panic as a clue that her handbag might actually be the reason why I'm fighting a fire in the first place, and that's where I should start looking. Turns out it was: some matches in her handbag (tch tch) had somehow set themselves alight. So one mark against PY there, but as I had already sat the annual exams (at 8am this morning while the rest of the world was being brought breakfast in bed) it wasn't really worth worrying about but it served as a reminder on how necessary it is to always keep a cool head in situations like this.
We also had our annual reassuring chat about dealing with hijackings and other threatening behaviour. Right up to the day before 9/11, a cosy complacency had settled into British aviation security that it was very unlikely there would be any more hijackings by suicidally-inclined nutters, and we were told precisely as much. The next day was everyone's wake up call. If we were previously unfortunate enough to be on a hijacked aircraft we were told to "stay quiet, co-operate, we don't need dead heroes". Since 9/11, the official rule book for dealing with a hijack has been torn up. Rule Number One is now: get the bastards if you can, by whatever means. Like I said, reassuring.
Then after a particularly important area of vagueness was not raised, I felt obliged to raise it myself: Sky Marshalls on flights to the US. Things have gone worryingly quiet from the British government on that score to the extent that many of us do wonder if they have been introduced, with that information deliberately being kept from the cabin crew. It's a poor state of affairs if we are that suspicious. So as I raised the subject I felt obliged to ask "Do we have them?", and I was given a flat "No" in reply, but as far as the media is concerned I get the strong feeling there is some deliberate disinformation being spread for a specific purpose, which will serve to make BA a harder target. Fine by me on that score, and BA's position (as is mine) is still that if a particular flight is considered not safe to operate then it shouldn't leave the ground in the first place, marshalled or otherwise. While airlines like Israel's El Al have had Marshalls for years, the introduction of Marshalls on British aircraft to the US seems to be stalling on several important sticking points between the government, the airlines and the trade unions, and believe me everyone in authority on this side of the Atlantic is pissed off with (and distrustful of) the US Department of Homeland Security, for endless different reasons. I wonder if it will ever be resolved either way unless the matter is unfortunately forced to the top of the agenda once again, or the legislation must be forced through because the Americans are having another panic attack and are insisting the world keeps pace with their paranoia.
So tomorrow's fun and games will involve aviation medicine, and I will be attaching a defibrillator or other surgical appliances to my colleagues, as well as reminding my instructors that (honest guv) I really do know how to deliver a baby.
Being the possibly far-too-horizontal person that I am, I thankfully never feel inclined to shout at people in real life... if I ever need someone to do something and to please do it now, I find "assertive" usually gets the required result without ever having to resort to "aggressive". If I need to let off steam about something like a particularly obnoxious bunch of foreign students or the like, it's often advisable to do it elsewhere among more sympathetic ears than by demonstrating to the object of your ire the precise degree of your displeasure, which will often get you nowhere. At least, that's the way it's supposed to work in the hospitality business. Or maybe it's just my hospitality business. Whatever.
So in a certain role-playing scenario in my annual safety checks today I may have been a little too assertive with this panicking 'passenger', as the fire that I was currently trying to put out in her overhead locker was also burning to ashes her precious fifty million dollar Gucci handbag. Too bad, dear. So we have smoke in the cabin but cannot see the actual source of the fire (on a crew's "oh-fuck" scale this will rank as an 8 or 9; in comparison, having an airborne engine fire barely ranks as a 2). The fire could be in any number of bags in the locker or even be from some wiring behind the locker, or from another completely non-visible but local part of the plane. Who knows? We don't, and very likely no-one's about to tell us. So for every second spent trying to establish the source and fight it, that fire is possibly getting worse and the end result doesn't bear thinking about.
We have good routines for dealing with a fire on a plane, an event which fortunately has never happened to me but does occasionally occur. My abrupt words may have been rather cathartic and helped give us all a laugh, but if I was properly aware I might have also taken her panic as a clue that her handbag might actually be the reason why I'm fighting a fire in the first place, and that's where I should start looking. Turns out it was: some matches in her handbag (tch tch) had somehow set themselves alight. So one mark against PY there, but as I had already sat the annual exams (at 8am this morning while the rest of the world was being brought breakfast in bed) it wasn't really worth worrying about but it served as a reminder on how necessary it is to always keep a cool head in situations like this.
We also had our annual reassuring chat about dealing with hijackings and other threatening behaviour. Right up to the day before 9/11, a cosy complacency had settled into British aviation security that it was very unlikely there would be any more hijackings by suicidally-inclined nutters, and we were told precisely as much. The next day was everyone's wake up call. If we were previously unfortunate enough to be on a hijacked aircraft we were told to "stay quiet, co-operate, we don't need dead heroes". Since 9/11, the official rule book for dealing with a hijack has been torn up. Rule Number One is now: get the bastards if you can, by whatever means. Like I said, reassuring.
Then after a particularly important area of vagueness was not raised, I felt obliged to raise it myself: Sky Marshalls on flights to the US. Things have gone worryingly quiet from the British government on that score to the extent that many of us do wonder if they have been introduced, with that information deliberately being kept from the cabin crew. It's a poor state of affairs if we are that suspicious. So as I raised the subject I felt obliged to ask "Do we have them?", and I was given a flat "No" in reply, but as far as the media is concerned I get the strong feeling there is some deliberate disinformation being spread for a specific purpose, which will serve to make BA a harder target. Fine by me on that score, and BA's position (as is mine) is still that if a particular flight is considered not safe to operate then it shouldn't leave the ground in the first place, marshalled or otherwise. While airlines like Israel's El Al have had Marshalls for years, the introduction of Marshalls on British aircraft to the US seems to be stalling on several important sticking points between the government, the airlines and the trade unions, and believe me everyone in authority on this side of the Atlantic is pissed off with (and distrustful of) the US Department of Homeland Security, for endless different reasons. I wonder if it will ever be resolved either way unless the matter is unfortunately forced to the top of the agenda once again, or the legislation must be forced through because the Americans are having another panic attack and are insisting the world keeps pace with their paranoia.
So tomorrow's fun and games will involve aviation medicine, and I will be attaching a defibrillator or other surgical appliances to my colleagues, as well as reminding my instructors that (honest guv) I really do know how to deliver a baby.
no subject
Date: 2004-07-04 02:31 pm (UTC)Ever notice how in the disaster movies some silverback male among the passengers takes charge and the faggoty crew fall back in awe at his Heinleinian competence and say "yes sir!"?
In reality the closest thing to the Heinleinian omnicompetent character is likely to be one of the crew, but the moviemakers don't want to spread that meme around, because it would spoil the cinemagoers' fantasies of being the silverback.
no subject
Date: 2004-07-04 03:01 pm (UTC)Even though we are not medical professionals we don't have to follow the advice of any doctors and can overule them. A situation where three doctors are arguing over treatment for an ill passenger is more common than you'd think. But there was the famous case on a BA flight a few years ago in which a doctor performed surgery using a metal coathanger, and the crew had to help out. Now that was impressive.
Of the body of knowledge a crew member must have to fly, he probably uses less than 10 percent of it on any given day (that's no guarantee of the competence of that person, though). But none of the reality will ever prevent my profession from being eternally portrayed as air-headed.
no subject
Date: 2004-07-04 03:54 pm (UTC)*grin* Have you ever seen SST:Death Flight?
Absolute kak (both senses) of a movie... :-)
no subject
Date: 2004-07-04 03:57 pm (UTC)No. Should I? Dare I?
no subject
Date: 2004-07-04 06:53 pm (UTC)Oh look, see it if you can. It's funny. Well, I thought so. YMM of course V. Lots. And it's got Billy Crystal, Lorne Greene, Peter Graves, Doug MacClure and Barbara Anderson in it.. how bad can it be? ;-)
IMDB link here.
no subject
Date: 2004-07-04 11:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-05 01:40 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-04 03:38 pm (UTC)But thank you for posting these bits. Information is my best weapon against nervousness. (Or maybe the illusion thereof... flew with Quantas years ago, and found their habit of putting up on the screen flight info like altitude, direction, speed, and position on a map rather re-assuring, rather than TMI).
Also find your take on the marshall issue refreshing. Good for you, bringing it up.
Crazy(promises not to have a baby on your flight)Soph
no subject
Date: 2004-07-04 03:51 pm (UTC)(promises not to have a baby on your flight)
Thanks. In all honesty I think my above comment to
no subject
Date: 2004-07-04 04:22 pm (UTC)Crazy(extracts foot from mouth, *ouch*)Soph
no subject
Date: 2004-07-04 10:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-04 06:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-04 11:01 pm (UTC)BTW, unfortunately I won't be around on 10 July... too bad. :(
no subject
Date: 2004-07-05 03:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-05 02:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-05 04:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-05 04:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-05 05:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-05 10:00 am (UTC)trolley dollystewardess and indicated very graphically how I needed some tissues. "Oh, you'll have to get those from the washroom," she said, and walked off leaving me more than a little dumbstruck. Not a major incident but unfortunately one that has stuck in the memory.Tongue-in-cheek flight announcements
Date: 2004-07-06 12:45 am (UTC)Reminds me of the time last December I flew a connection from Houston to Tulsa, when on departure the captain announced our destination as "Tulsa Oklahoma, continuing onto Cancun." Sadly, all of the passengers only had tickets to Tulsa...
no subject
Date: 2004-07-04 11:41 pm (UTC)We thought of you when we flew to India earlier this year.
On one of the many legs of the flight (via several hundred gulf states) there was a woman, who seemed to be a British Arab judging by accent and appearance, who was clearly disturbed. The fuss started when she persisted in smoking, and escalated when the crew then insisted she hand over her alcohol, being by then outrageously drunk and abusive. There seemed to be more to it than simple drunkenness as she switched, without warning, between being quite passive and being completely beside herself. The crew were amazing - firm but calm, and seemed to maintain a sense of humour throughout.
After trying to talk her down for a while they dangled wrist restraints in front of her, obviously in the hope that this would shut her up, but I certainly believed they would use them if necessary. When she started to flail and throw herself around the chap who seemed to be senior steward restrained her with remarkable efficiency - he clearly knew precisely what he was doing and in seconds had her pushed face down into the seats with a motion that was inescapable but smooth and not dangerous. And still he kept smiling and joking with colleagues.
The woman did calm down after that, though she would suddenly jerk into life, yelling and throwing her arms around momentarily. Later on the crew brought her a meal and were very sweet to her.
We'd never experienced a disruption on a flight before and were terribly impressed with the way in which it was handled. Kind of surpised to see the mad/drunken woman wandering around the airport later on and boarding another flight.
no subject
Date: 2004-07-05 10:19 am (UTC)Incidentally I find Arab hospitality almost impossible to beat, anywhere.
no subject
Date: 2004-07-05 02:26 am (UTC)One of the things I like with BA, versus other airlines (umm... Virgin) is that you guys actually seem to know what you are doing. Not something I'm convinced by on some other airlines.
The marshall's thing is tricky. I'm not keen on people with guns being in airplanes, period. And, as you say, if the flight isn't safe, it ought not to be in the air in the first place. I'm certainly not convinced that it makes me feel any safer.
I suspect that the key thing is that the crew and passengers are less likely to take a future hi-jack sitting down. It's highly unlikely that hijackers will be able to get firearms into aircraft, and the odds are that the passengers and crew will seriously out number hijackers is high.
Do flight crew get self defence training?
no subject
Date: 2004-07-05 10:12 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-05 04:55 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-05 10:02 am (UTC)