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Three rules that describe our reactions to technologies (attributed to Douglas Adams)
1: “Anything that is in the world when you're born is normal and ordinary and is just a natural part of the way the world works.”
2: “Anything that's invented between when you're fifteen and thirty-five is new and exciting and revolutionary and you can probably get a career in it.”
3: “Anything invented after you're thirty-five is against the natural order of things.”
[ from The Salmon of Doubt, 2002 ]
Arken's Law (attributed to Arken at www.iidb.com)
“A discussion is over when present society is compared to George Orwell's 'Oceania' in the book Nineteen Eighty-Four.”
[ RationalWiki | Urban Dictionary ]
Asimov's Three Laws of Robotics (attributed to Isaac Asimov)
The First Law states: “A robot may not, through its actions or inactions, allow a human to come to harm.”
The Second Law states: “A robot must obey any order given to it, unless in contradiction of the First Law.”
The Third Law states: “A robot must protect its own existence, unless in contradiction of the First or Second Law.”
[ from 'Runaround', 1942 ]
[ RationalWiki ]
An additional Fourth Law:
Avoid Philadelphia. (Attributed to The Secret Nerd Base, 5 August 2015, after the HitchBOT was attacked by vandals in that city.)
Benford's Law of Controversy (attributed to Gregory Benford, from the novel Timescape)
“Passion is inversely proportional to the amount of real information available.”
[ Wikipedia ]
The Blinovich Limitation Effect (attributed to Terrance Dicks and Barry Letts)
Usually understood as having two aspects: firstly, that “a time traveller cannot 'redo' an act that he has previously committed”, and secondly, that “a dangerous energy discharge will result if two temporal versions of the same person come into contact.”
Two of Aaron Blinovich's Laws are also invoked in the 2000 time travel film Happy Accidents:
Blinovitch's Second Law of Temporal Inertia states: “It is impossible to time travel in your own lifetime. One can only time travel to the distant past, and only small changes in history are possible, which will "dampen out" by the time they reach the relative present.”
Blinovitch's Fifth Law of Causal Determination resolves (in an unspecified manner) all paradoxes involved with time travel.
[ Tardis Wikia | Wikipedia ]
Burnside's Advice (attributed to Ken Burnside)
“Friends don't let friends use reactionless drives in their universes.”
[ ProjectRho.com ]
Celine's Laws (attributed to Robert Anton Wilson in the Illuminatus! trilogy)
The First Law states: “National Security is the chief cause of national insecurity.”
The Second Law states: “Accurate communication is possible only in a non-punishing situation.”
The Third Law states: “An honest politician is a national calamity.”
[ Wikipedia ]
The Chronology Protection Conjecture (attributed to Stephen Hawking)
“It seems that there is a Chronology Protection Agency which prevents the appearance of closed timelike curves and so makes the universe safe for historians.”
[ Arcana Wiki | Wikipedia ]
Clarke's Law of Revolutionary New Ideas (attributed to Sir Arthur C. Clarke)
“Like all revolutionary new ideas, the subject has had to pass through three stages, which may be summed up by these reactions: (1) 'It’s crazy – don't waste my time.' (2) 'It’s possible, but it’s not worth doing.' (3) 'I always said it was a good idea.’”
— 'Next – The Planets!', Report on Planet Three, 1972.
Clarke's Three Laws (attributed to Sir Arthur C. Clarke)
The First Law states: “When a distinguished, but elderly, scientist states that something is possible, he is almost certainly right. When he states that something is impossible, he is very probably wrong.”
— 'Hazards of Prophecy: The Failure of Imagination', Profiles of the Future, 1962; restated in 'Technology and the Future', Report on Planet Three, 1972.
Corollaries to the First Law:
Isaac Asimov: “When, however, the lay public rallies round an idea that is denounced by distinguished but elderly scientists and supports that idea with great fervor and emotion -- the distinguished but elderly scientists are then, after all, probably right.” (The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction, February 1977)
The Second Law states: “The only way of discovering the limits of the possible is to venture a little way past them into the impossible.”
— 'Technology and the Future', Report on Planet Three, 1972.
The Third Law states: “Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.”
— 'Technology and the Future', Report on Planet Three, 1972.
Corollaries to the Third Law:
Arlan Andrews, Sr.: “Any sufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from technology.” ('Indian Summa', Analog, January 1989)
Grey's Law: “Any sufficiently advanced incompetence is indistinguishable from malice.” (see also Hanlon's Razor)
Shermer's Last Law: “Any sufficiently advanced ETI is indistinguishable from God.”
Gehm's Corollary: “Any technology distinguishable from magic is insufficiently advanced.” (Dr. Barry Gehm, Analog, 1991(?); once known as 'Benford's Corollary' and attributed to Gregory Benford from his use of it in Foundation's Fear, 1997, later attributed to Gehm as the originator)
I-CON SF: “Any sufficiently advanced iPhone is indistinguishable from magic.”
Rich Kulaweic: “Any sufficiently advanced bug is indistinguishable from a feature.”
Karl Schroeder: “Any sufficiently advanced civilization is indistinguishable from nature.”
Unknown: “Any sufficiently advanced science fiction is indistinguishable from fantasy.” (attributed to Science Fiction fandom)
Unknown: “Any sufficiently well-understood magic is indistinguishable from technology.” (attributed to Science Fiction fandom)
Unknown: “If you cannot distinguish my technology from magic, you are not sufficiently advanced.”
[Also add Charles Sheffield's variant buried somewhere in the 'Convergence' series.]
[ RationalWiki | RationalWiki: Grey's Law | Wikipedia: Shermer's Last Law ]
Doctorow's Law (attributed to Cory Doctorow, 2009)
“Anytime someone puts a lock on something you own, against your wishes, and doesn't give you the key, they're not doing it for your benefit.”
Finagle's Law of Dynamic Negatives (also known as Finagle's Corollary to Murphy's Law) (attributed to John W. Campbell)
“Anything that can go wrong, will – at the worst possible moment.”
Corollaries to Finagle's Law:
O'Toole's Corollary of Finagle's Law: “The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum”, popularised by Larry Niven.
Ads for bookplates run by Galaxy Magazine in the late 1960s stated "The umpteenth corollary of Finagle's Law of Dynamic Negatives states "No books are ever lost by loaning except ones you particularly want to keep." "
[ Wikipedia ]
Godwin's Law of Time Travel (attributed to colonel_green at scans-daily)
“The first rule of time travel is that any and all modifications made to the timeline result in Hitler winning World War II. Run over a hippy in 1968? Hitler wins.”
[ Arcana Wiki | TV Tropes ]
Haldane's Law (attributed to J.B.S. Haldane)
“I have no doubt that in reality the future will be vastly more surprising than anything I can imagine. Now, my own suspicion is that the universe is not only queerer than we suppose, but queerer than we can suppose.”
— J.B.S. Haldane, Possible Worlds, 1927.
Hanlon's Razor (attributed to Robert Heinlein)
“Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.”
[ RationalWiki ]
See also: Grey's Law under Clarke's Three Laws.
Hitler's Time Travel Exemption Act (attribution unknown)
“If you time-travel into the past and then try to kill Hitler, it won't work as intended. It may even backfire.”
[ Arcana Wiki | TV Tropes ]
See also Godwin's Law of Time Travel.
Jon's First Law (attributed to Jon Souza)
“Any interesting space drive is a weapon of mass destruction. It only matters how long you want to wait for maximum damage.” It goes on to say: "Interesting is equal to ‘whatever keeps the readers from getting bored’”.
[ ProjectRho.com | Jon Souza ]
See also Larry Niven's Kzinti Lesson.
Ken Hite's Rule (attributed to Ken Hite)
“Alternative Universes tend to have more Zeppelins.”
The Kzinti Lesson (attributed to Larry Niven)
“A reaction drive's efficiency as a weapon is in direct proportion to its efficiency as a drive.”
[ larryniven.net ]
See also Jon's First Law and Niven's Laws.
Moff's Law (attributed to Josh Wimmer at io9.com)
"Of all the varieties of irritating comment out there, the absolute most annoying has to be “Why can’t you just watch the movie for what it is??? Why can’t you just enjoy it? Why do you have to analyze it???” If you have posted such a comment, or if you are about to post such a comment, here or anywhere else, let me just advise you: Shut up. Shut the fuck up. Shut your goddamn fucking mouth. SHUT. UP."
Codified as:
1) As a discussion of a creative work grows longer, the probability of some ass whining about "overanalyzing" approaches 1.
2) In any discussion of creative work, anyone who says "OMG, why can't you just enjoy it??" automatically loses.
[ Racialicious ]
Muphry's Law (attributed to John Bangsund)
(a) if you write anything criticizing editing or proofreading, there will be a fault of some kind in what you have written;
(b) if an author thanks you in a book for your editing or proofreading, there will be mistakes in the book;
(c) the stronger the sentiment expressed in (a) and (b), the greater the fault;
(d) any book devoted to editing or style will be internally inconsistent.
[ Wikipedia | John Bangsund ]
Niven's Law (attributed to Larry Niven)
“If the universe of discourse permits the possibility of time travel and of changing the past, then no time machine will be invented in that universe.”
[ Wikipedia ]
Niven's Laws (attributed to Larry Niven, from the collection Known Space)
1. a. Never throw shit at an armed man.
b. Never stand next to someone who is throwing shit at an armed man.
2. Never fire a laser at a mirror.
3. Mother Nature doesn't care if you're having fun.
4. F × S = k. The product of Freedom and Security is a constant. To gain more freedom of thought and/or action, you must give up some security, and vice versa.
5. Psi and/or magical powers, if real, are nearly useless.
6. It is easier to destroy than create.
7. Any damn fool can predict the past.
8. History never repeats itself.
9. Ethics change with technology.
10. Anarchy is the least stable of social structures. It falls apart at a touch.
11. There is a time and place for tact. And there are times when tact is entirely misplaced.
12. The ways of being human are bounded but infinite.
13. The world's dullest subjects, in order:
a. Somebody else's diet.
b. How to make money for a worthy cause.
c. Special Interest Liberation.
14. The only universal message in science fiction: There exist minds that think as well as you do, but differently.
Niven's corollary: The gene-tampered turkey you're talking to isn't necessarily one of them.
15. Fuzzy Pink Niven's Law: Never waste calories.
16. There is no cause so right that one cannot find a fool following it.
In variant form in Fallen Angels as “Niven's Law: No cause is so noble that it won't attract fuggheads.”
17. No technique works if it isn't used.
18. Not responsible for advice not taken.
19. Old age is not for sissies.
20. “Do some basic physics before writing Ringworld.”
[ Wikipedia ]
See also Larry Niven's Kzinti Lesson.
The Novikov Self Consistency Principle (attributed to Igor Novikov)
Concerning time paradoxes, “If an event exists that would give rise to a paradox, or to any "change" to the past whatsoever, then the probability of that event is zero.”
[ Arcana Wiki | Wikipedia ]
Pellegrino, Powell and Asimov's Three Laws of Alien Behaviour (attributed to Charles Pellegrino, James Powell and Isaac Asimov)
The First Law states: “Their survival will be more important than our survival. If an alien species has to choose between them and us, they won't choose us. It is difficult to imagine a contrary case; species don't survive by being self-sacrificing.”
The Second Law states: “Wimps don't become top dogs. No species makes it to the top by being passive. The species in charge of any given planet will be highly intelligent, alert, aggressive, and ruthless when necessary.”
The Third Law states: “They will assume that the first two laws apply to us.”
— from the front endpapers of Charles Pellegrino's Flying to Valhalla, 1993.
Poe's law (poetry) (attributed to Edgar Allan Poe)
On the maximum desirable length for poems: “The unit of poetry must be fixed by the reader's capacity of attention, and … the limits of a poem must accord with the limits of a single movement of intellectual apprehension and emotional exaltation.”
Robinson's First Law of Space Combat
“An object impacting at 3 km/sec delivers kinetic energy equal to its mass in TNT.”
[ ProjectRho.com | Rick Robinson ]
Rule 34
“If it exists, there is porn related to it.”
Adapted by Charles Stross as Rule 34.1: “Anything on the internet can be construed as filth, by a mind that's sufficiently warped.”
[ Rule 34 | Telegraph.co.uk | Urban Dictionary | Know Your Meme ]
Scalzi's Law (attributed to John Scalzi)
“The failure mode of clever is asshole.”
[ Whatever ]
Sturgeon's Law (attributed to Theodore Sturgeon)
“Nothing is always absolutely so.”
[ Wikipedia ]
Sturgeon's Revelation, now more commonly known as Sturgeon's Law (attributed to Theodore Sturgeon)
“Ninety percent of everything is crud.” Now more likely to be seen as “Ninety percent of everything is crap.”
— World Science Fiction Covention, Philadelphia, 1953.
[ Wikipedia ]
As related in the anecdote: “When people talk about the mystery novel,” Ted said, as I remember, “they mention The Maltese Falcon and The Big Sleep. When they talk about the western, they say there's The Way West and Shane. But when they talk about science fiction, they call it 'that Buck Rogers stuff', and they say 'ninety percent of science fiction is crud.' Well, they're right. Ninety percent of science fiction is crud. But then ninety percent of everything is crud, and it's the ten percent that isn't crud that is important. And the ten percent of science fiction that isn't crud is as good as or better than anything being written anywhere.”
— James Gunn, The New York Review of Science Fiction #85, September 1995.
Rucker's Corollary to Sturgeon's Law:
Lee Ann Rucker: “The Golden Age looks so good because we've forgotten the 90% that's crap.” (rec.arts.sf.written, Jan 2001)
The Ten Commandments for Reading the Magazines (attributed to Stanislaw Lem, translated by Franz Rottensteiner)
You shall stop reading a work of SF:
1. in which gods, angels, demons, devils and other mythical beings appear, the work nevertheless being called "SF".
2. in which members of "other civilisations" appear, not as seen through the eyes of human observers, but described "quite directly" – from the godlike position of a master strategist.
3. in which the names of the characters (if only some of them) are constructed by a distortion of the paradigm of proper names in the alien language concerned (for instance, "Alexi Andrei" is supposed to serve as the name of a Pole, or "Kohlbenschlagg" as the name of a German; such are the signs with which an author betrays his ignorance which masquerades as arrogance) – any serious author takes the names of his heroes from models of the country where the alien tongue is spoken, and he does so by selecting genuine sources: there are no exceptions to this rule.
4. which is armed with a foreword by the author in which he declares that he writes in such-and-such a way, whereas Swift, Voltaire or Flaubert, Joyce, etc., wrote in such-and-such a way: in general, the length of the foreword is in inverse proportion to the quality of the text.
5. in which it is impossible to determine, after having read the first pages, the time, place the objects of the plot.
6. in which the names of all the characters are monosyllables.
7. in which there is an "escalation of the fantastic" – i.e. the hero is a telepath, but he is not one of the usual telepaths: he is a telepath who can set fire to objects just by willing it: and it's not only that he can light his cigarettes in such a way – he can also turn the sun into a supernova: but not only can he turn the sun into a supernova, normal telepaths cannot read his thoughts: and not only is it impossible to read his thoughts, but etc. …
8. in which the plot moves, in a very short space, from one point of the Earth, or the solar system, or the galaxy, to other points.
9. in which the main characteristics of extraterrestrial humanoids are a peculiar number of fingers (4 or 6, say), or a peculiar chemical composition of their bodies.
10. in which the characters admire qualities among themselves (for instance, incisiveness of intellect or humour which, when presented to the reader, do not so impress him.
The Three Laws of Infernal Dynamics (attributed to David Gerrold's alter-ego Solomon Short)
The First Law states: An object in motion will always be headed in the wrong direction.
The Second Law states: An object at rest will always be in the wrong place.
The Third Law states: The energy required to change either of these states will always be more than you wish to expend, but never so much as to make the task prospectively impossible.
[ from Yesterday's Children / Starhunt, 1980 edition ]
1: “Anything that is in the world when you're born is normal and ordinary and is just a natural part of the way the world works.”
2: “Anything that's invented between when you're fifteen and thirty-five is new and exciting and revolutionary and you can probably get a career in it.”
3: “Anything invented after you're thirty-five is against the natural order of things.”
[ from The Salmon of Doubt, 2002 ]
Arken's Law (attributed to Arken at www.iidb.com)
“A discussion is over when present society is compared to George Orwell's 'Oceania' in the book Nineteen Eighty-Four.”
[ RationalWiki | Urban Dictionary ]
Asimov's Three Laws of Robotics (attributed to Isaac Asimov)
The First Law states: “A robot may not, through its actions or inactions, allow a human to come to harm.”
The Second Law states: “A robot must obey any order given to it, unless in contradiction of the First Law.”
The Third Law states: “A robot must protect its own existence, unless in contradiction of the First or Second Law.”
[ from 'Runaround', 1942 ]
[ RationalWiki ]
An additional Fourth Law:
Benford's Law of Controversy (attributed to Gregory Benford, from the novel Timescape)
“Passion is inversely proportional to the amount of real information available.”
[ Wikipedia ]
The Blinovich Limitation Effect (attributed to Terrance Dicks and Barry Letts)
Usually understood as having two aspects: firstly, that “a time traveller cannot 'redo' an act that he has previously committed”, and secondly, that “a dangerous energy discharge will result if two temporal versions of the same person come into contact.”
Two of Aaron Blinovich's Laws are also invoked in the 2000 time travel film Happy Accidents:
Blinovitch's Second Law of Temporal Inertia states: “It is impossible to time travel in your own lifetime. One can only time travel to the distant past, and only small changes in history are possible, which will "dampen out" by the time they reach the relative present.”
Blinovitch's Fifth Law of Causal Determination resolves (in an unspecified manner) all paradoxes involved with time travel.
[ Tardis Wikia | Wikipedia ]
Burnside's Advice (attributed to Ken Burnside)
“Friends don't let friends use reactionless drives in their universes.”
[ ProjectRho.com ]
Celine's Laws (attributed to Robert Anton Wilson in the Illuminatus! trilogy)
The First Law states: “National Security is the chief cause of national insecurity.”
The Second Law states: “Accurate communication is possible only in a non-punishing situation.”
The Third Law states: “An honest politician is a national calamity.”
[ Wikipedia ]
The Chronology Protection Conjecture (attributed to Stephen Hawking)
“It seems that there is a Chronology Protection Agency which prevents the appearance of closed timelike curves and so makes the universe safe for historians.”
[ Arcana Wiki | Wikipedia ]
Clarke's Law of Revolutionary New Ideas (attributed to Sir Arthur C. Clarke)
“Like all revolutionary new ideas, the subject has had to pass through three stages, which may be summed up by these reactions: (1) 'It’s crazy – don't waste my time.' (2) 'It’s possible, but it’s not worth doing.' (3) 'I always said it was a good idea.’”
— 'Next – The Planets!', Report on Planet Three, 1972.
Clarke's Three Laws (attributed to Sir Arthur C. Clarke)
The First Law states: “When a distinguished, but elderly, scientist states that something is possible, he is almost certainly right. When he states that something is impossible, he is very probably wrong.”
— 'Hazards of Prophecy: The Failure of Imagination', Profiles of the Future, 1962; restated in 'Technology and the Future', Report on Planet Three, 1972.
Corollaries to the First Law:
The Second Law states: “The only way of discovering the limits of the possible is to venture a little way past them into the impossible.”
— 'Technology and the Future', Report on Planet Three, 1972.
The Third Law states: “Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.”
— 'Technology and the Future', Report on Planet Three, 1972.
Corollaries to the Third Law:
[ RationalWiki | RationalWiki: Grey's Law | Wikipedia: Shermer's Last Law ]
Doctorow's Law (attributed to Cory Doctorow, 2009)
“Anytime someone puts a lock on something you own, against your wishes, and doesn't give you the key, they're not doing it for your benefit.”
Finagle's Law of Dynamic Negatives (also known as Finagle's Corollary to Murphy's Law) (attributed to John W. Campbell)
“Anything that can go wrong, will – at the worst possible moment.”
Corollaries to Finagle's Law:
[ Wikipedia ]
Godwin's Law of Time Travel (attributed to colonel_green at scans-daily)
“The first rule of time travel is that any and all modifications made to the timeline result in Hitler winning World War II. Run over a hippy in 1968? Hitler wins.”
[ Arcana Wiki | TV Tropes ]
Haldane's Law (attributed to J.B.S. Haldane)
“I have no doubt that in reality the future will be vastly more surprising than anything I can imagine. Now, my own suspicion is that the universe is not only queerer than we suppose, but queerer than we can suppose.”
— J.B.S. Haldane, Possible Worlds, 1927.
Hanlon's Razor (attributed to Robert Heinlein)
“Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.”
[ RationalWiki ]
See also: Grey's Law under Clarke's Three Laws.
Hitler's Time Travel Exemption Act (attribution unknown)
“If you time-travel into the past and then try to kill Hitler, it won't work as intended. It may even backfire.”
[ Arcana Wiki | TV Tropes ]
See also Godwin's Law of Time Travel.
Jon's First Law (attributed to Jon Souza)
“Any interesting space drive is a weapon of mass destruction. It only matters how long you want to wait for maximum damage.” It goes on to say: "Interesting is equal to ‘whatever keeps the readers from getting bored’”.
[ ProjectRho.com | Jon Souza ]
See also Larry Niven's Kzinti Lesson.
Ken Hite's Rule (attributed to Ken Hite)
“Alternative Universes tend to have more Zeppelins.”
The Kzinti Lesson (attributed to Larry Niven)
“A reaction drive's efficiency as a weapon is in direct proportion to its efficiency as a drive.”
[ larryniven.net ]
See also Jon's First Law and Niven's Laws.
Moff's Law (attributed to Josh Wimmer at io9.com)
"Of all the varieties of irritating comment out there, the absolute most annoying has to be “Why can’t you just watch the movie for what it is??? Why can’t you just enjoy it? Why do you have to analyze it???” If you have posted such a comment, or if you are about to post such a comment, here or anywhere else, let me just advise you: Shut up. Shut the fuck up. Shut your goddamn fucking mouth. SHUT. UP."
Codified as:
1) As a discussion of a creative work grows longer, the probability of some ass whining about "overanalyzing" approaches 1.
2) In any discussion of creative work, anyone who says "OMG, why can't you just enjoy it??" automatically loses.
[ Racialicious ]
Muphry's Law (attributed to John Bangsund)
(a) if you write anything criticizing editing or proofreading, there will be a fault of some kind in what you have written;
(b) if an author thanks you in a book for your editing or proofreading, there will be mistakes in the book;
(c) the stronger the sentiment expressed in (a) and (b), the greater the fault;
(d) any book devoted to editing or style will be internally inconsistent.
[ Wikipedia | John Bangsund ]
Niven's Law (attributed to Larry Niven)
“If the universe of discourse permits the possibility of time travel and of changing the past, then no time machine will be invented in that universe.”
[ Wikipedia ]
Niven's Laws (attributed to Larry Niven, from the collection Known Space)
1. a. Never throw shit at an armed man.
b. Never stand next to someone who is throwing shit at an armed man.
2. Never fire a laser at a mirror.
3. Mother Nature doesn't care if you're having fun.
4. F × S = k. The product of Freedom and Security is a constant. To gain more freedom of thought and/or action, you must give up some security, and vice versa.
5. Psi and/or magical powers, if real, are nearly useless.
6. It is easier to destroy than create.
7. Any damn fool can predict the past.
8. History never repeats itself.
9. Ethics change with technology.
10. Anarchy is the least stable of social structures. It falls apart at a touch.
11. There is a time and place for tact. And there are times when tact is entirely misplaced.
12. The ways of being human are bounded but infinite.
13. The world's dullest subjects, in order:
a. Somebody else's diet.
b. How to make money for a worthy cause.
c. Special Interest Liberation.
14. The only universal message in science fiction: There exist minds that think as well as you do, but differently.
Niven's corollary: The gene-tampered turkey you're talking to isn't necessarily one of them.
15. Fuzzy Pink Niven's Law: Never waste calories.
16. There is no cause so right that one cannot find a fool following it.
In variant form in Fallen Angels as “Niven's Law: No cause is so noble that it won't attract fuggheads.”
17. No technique works if it isn't used.
18. Not responsible for advice not taken.
19. Old age is not for sissies.
20. “Do some basic physics before writing Ringworld.”
[ Wikipedia ]
See also Larry Niven's Kzinti Lesson.
The Novikov Self Consistency Principle (attributed to Igor Novikov)
Concerning time paradoxes, “If an event exists that would give rise to a paradox, or to any "change" to the past whatsoever, then the probability of that event is zero.”
[ Arcana Wiki | Wikipedia ]
Pellegrino, Powell and Asimov's Three Laws of Alien Behaviour (attributed to Charles Pellegrino, James Powell and Isaac Asimov)
The First Law states: “Their survival will be more important than our survival. If an alien species has to choose between them and us, they won't choose us. It is difficult to imagine a contrary case; species don't survive by being self-sacrificing.”
The Second Law states: “Wimps don't become top dogs. No species makes it to the top by being passive. The species in charge of any given planet will be highly intelligent, alert, aggressive, and ruthless when necessary.”
The Third Law states: “They will assume that the first two laws apply to us.”
— from the front endpapers of Charles Pellegrino's Flying to Valhalla, 1993.
Poe's law (poetry) (attributed to Edgar Allan Poe)
On the maximum desirable length for poems: “The unit of poetry must be fixed by the reader's capacity of attention, and … the limits of a poem must accord with the limits of a single movement of intellectual apprehension and emotional exaltation.”
Robinson's First Law of Space Combat
“An object impacting at 3 km/sec delivers kinetic energy equal to its mass in TNT.”
[ ProjectRho.com | Rick Robinson ]
Rule 34
“If it exists, there is porn related to it.”
Adapted by Charles Stross as Rule 34.1: “Anything on the internet can be construed as filth, by a mind that's sufficiently warped.”
[ Rule 34 | Telegraph.co.uk | Urban Dictionary | Know Your Meme ]
Scalzi's Law (attributed to John Scalzi)
“The failure mode of clever is asshole.”
[ Whatever ]
Sturgeon's Law (attributed to Theodore Sturgeon)
“Nothing is always absolutely so.”
[ Wikipedia ]
Sturgeon's Revelation, now more commonly known as Sturgeon's Law (attributed to Theodore Sturgeon)
“Ninety percent of everything is crud.” Now more likely to be seen as “Ninety percent of everything is crap.”
— World Science Fiction Covention, Philadelphia, 1953.
[ Wikipedia ]
As related in the anecdote: “When people talk about the mystery novel,” Ted said, as I remember, “they mention The Maltese Falcon and The Big Sleep. When they talk about the western, they say there's The Way West and Shane. But when they talk about science fiction, they call it 'that Buck Rogers stuff', and they say 'ninety percent of science fiction is crud.' Well, they're right. Ninety percent of science fiction is crud. But then ninety percent of everything is crud, and it's the ten percent that isn't crud that is important. And the ten percent of science fiction that isn't crud is as good as or better than anything being written anywhere.”
— James Gunn, The New York Review of Science Fiction #85, September 1995.
Rucker's Corollary to Sturgeon's Law:
The Ten Commandments for Reading the Magazines (attributed to Stanislaw Lem, translated by Franz Rottensteiner)
You shall stop reading a work of SF:
1. in which gods, angels, demons, devils and other mythical beings appear, the work nevertheless being called "SF".
2. in which members of "other civilisations" appear, not as seen through the eyes of human observers, but described "quite directly" – from the godlike position of a master strategist.
3. in which the names of the characters (if only some of them) are constructed by a distortion of the paradigm of proper names in the alien language concerned (for instance, "Alexi Andrei" is supposed to serve as the name of a Pole, or "Kohlbenschlagg" as the name of a German; such are the signs with which an author betrays his ignorance which masquerades as arrogance) – any serious author takes the names of his heroes from models of the country where the alien tongue is spoken, and he does so by selecting genuine sources: there are no exceptions to this rule.
4. which is armed with a foreword by the author in which he declares that he writes in such-and-such a way, whereas Swift, Voltaire or Flaubert, Joyce, etc., wrote in such-and-such a way: in general, the length of the foreword is in inverse proportion to the quality of the text.
5. in which it is impossible to determine, after having read the first pages, the time, place the objects of the plot.
6. in which the names of all the characters are monosyllables.
7. in which there is an "escalation of the fantastic" – i.e. the hero is a telepath, but he is not one of the usual telepaths: he is a telepath who can set fire to objects just by willing it: and it's not only that he can light his cigarettes in such a way – he can also turn the sun into a supernova: but not only can he turn the sun into a supernova, normal telepaths cannot read his thoughts: and not only is it impossible to read his thoughts, but etc. …
8. in which the plot moves, in a very short space, from one point of the Earth, or the solar system, or the galaxy, to other points.
9. in which the main characteristics of extraterrestrial humanoids are a peculiar number of fingers (4 or 6, say), or a peculiar chemical composition of their bodies.
10. in which the characters admire qualities among themselves (for instance, incisiveness of intellect or humour which, when presented to the reader, do not so impress him.
The Three Laws of Infernal Dynamics (attributed to David Gerrold's alter-ego Solomon Short)
The First Law states: An object in motion will always be headed in the wrong direction.
The Second Law states: An object at rest will always be in the wrong place.
The Third Law states: The energy required to change either of these states will always be more than you wish to expend, but never so much as to make the task prospectively impossible.
[ from Yesterday's Children / Starhunt, 1980 edition ]
