'Hotel View' Haikus
Feb. 3rd, 2005 03:04 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
peteryoung
As the views from my hotel rooms usually reflect that 'mundane moment' rather well, this morning I thought it worth attempting a few Haikus.
cranes at rest
time to rise for
one night in Bangkok
Amari Watergate Hotel, Bangkok, 7 January 2005.
fairground fun
keeps me awake
well into the night
The Gulf Inn, Dubai, 25 January 2005 (a 2-second exposure at midnight).
foliage
migrating skies
am I really here?
Trade Winds Hotel, Antigua, 28 January 2005 (a 10-second exposure at 5.30am).
The last line actually has a double meaning, firstly because when I woke up that morning I could hardly believe I would end the day in the Caribbean; also because the photograph, genuine as it is, somehow looks like nothing more than a studio shot of exotic plants in front of an airbrushed backdrop.
warm in here
so cold out there
chandelier/snow
The MacLean Hilton, Tyson's Corner, Virginia, 2 February 2005 (a 4-second exposure at 11.30pm).
A small liberty depending on whether the reader thinks 'chandelier' has three or four syllables, but if 'foliage' has three then I reckon 'chandelier' could legitimately have four. The haiku's slash is included to mirror the photograph's unusual juxtaposition.
cranes at rest
time to rise for
one night in Bangkok
Amari Watergate Hotel, Bangkok, 7 January 2005.
fairground fun
keeps me awake
well into the night
The Gulf Inn, Dubai, 25 January 2005 (a 2-second exposure at midnight).
foliage
migrating skies
am I really here?
Trade Winds Hotel, Antigua, 28 January 2005 (a 10-second exposure at 5.30am).
The last line actually has a double meaning, firstly because when I woke up that morning I could hardly believe I would end the day in the Caribbean; also because the photograph, genuine as it is, somehow looks like nothing more than a studio shot of exotic plants in front of an airbrushed backdrop.
warm in here
so cold out there
chandelier/snow
The MacLean Hilton, Tyson's Corner, Virginia, 2 February 2005 (a 4-second exposure at 11.30pm).
A small liberty depending on whether the reader thinks 'chandelier' has three or four syllables, but if 'foliage' has three then I reckon 'chandelier' could legitimately have four. The haiku's slash is included to mirror the photograph's unusual juxtaposition.
no subject
Date: 2005-02-03 03:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-03 03:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-03 06:27 pm (UTC)No need to worry about taking liberties on the numbers of syllables in haiku. The traditional 5-7-5 syllable form may work well in Japanese, but doesn't always translate well into English. English works tend to have fewer syllables and you end up with a lot more meaning than a Japanese haiku would. So a 5-7-5 English haiku seems very wordy,
The English haiku
Has a meter which can scan
By some occident
On the other hand, a 3-5-3 English haiku can seem closer to the original Japanese,
Shorter Ode
Reminds the ear of
Traditions form
no subject
Date: 2005-02-03 06:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-03 07:06 pm (UTC)Yes. I used what I think is a more succinct 3-4-5 form, as in the English translation of Basho¨ (http://www.big.or.jp/~loupe/links/ehisto/ebasho.shtml)'s haiku
The old pond
A frog leaps in
The sound of water
And cheers for the link.
no subject
Date: 2005-02-03 06:43 pm (UTC)Anyway, please be aware there are SF fans in D.C. next time you come through here. We have meetings 1st and 3rd Friday every month, but even other times we're available.
no subject
Date: 2005-02-03 07:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-03 08:54 pm (UTC)dreamy cranes
Date: 2005-02-04 02:48 pm (UTC)